Enough HURT!
by LadydeTasil
Summary: Its all very well vowing to save and protect the helpless but what of those left behind the people who love and accept you in their family. Kaoru's rant and resolve. Stay tuned for next chapter! different perspective r'n'r
1. Chapter 2

Have you ever wondered what would happen if Kaoru snapped from the strain the Kenshin placed her under? Here's a take on where her trail of though may take her. Have a read and tell me what you think…I may decide to add more depending on feed back. What do you think? Have a read and let me know.

_Copyright: I do not own the Kenshin series, manga or movies. If I did then things may have had a bit more kick to them._

**Enough HURT!**

He was the Battousai

He would forever face a battle between his past self and the self that struggled to be average.

Whatever happened everyone said….. Don't anger it! The Murderer is never to far from the surface.

Yeah well I'm sick of it. That's right! I'm sick of the hypocrisy, and past mistakes that everyone seems to allow him to use as an excuse for pushing away people who care and love him.

Yes his past held a murderer but he didn't see that they were the mistakes of youth and he had vowed to spend his life atoning for them…wasn't that enough?

Did a horrid past automatically cancel out your future? No life didn't end! It went on however much he may want it not to.

It was soothing to his soul to help and save those that he had the gifts and skill to do so but what the people of Tokyo didn't understand was that his family were the ones always left behind. As well as the woman who loved him – quietly, unreservedly, and completely.

It was Yahiko that was left unconscious at the dojo and Sanosuke left on the road battered and bruised whilst Kenshin ran off after the culprit. Justice and penitence were important but when weighed up against family love and duty could you excuse anyone for choosing the latter and not the former. The answer would be no, the latter merely delayed the former.

Kenshin was hurting but then so was everyone else with him.

Yes I love him for who he is now. But I also accept that it is the past that has crafted the man he is today. He doesn't see the hurt he causes because he does not want to see it…well that will end as of now!


	2. Chapter 3

After much consideration and thought I have decided that there is more to add to the original chapter. The first chapter was mainly a vent of my own ...after reading a hell of a lot of fan fiction on the anime I realised that everyone around Kenshin allow him to treat them the way he does. I can understand that his past has been traumatic and bloody but there is no way the amount of good he has done can undo all that he had done in his mind. Throughout the anime series he has done so much for everyone of Japan so selflessly that I wanted a chance to give him a measure of relief from his struggle.

WARNING TO THOSE OF YOU LOOKING FOR AN EASY READ

THERE WILL BE SOME HARD TRUTHS ABOUT THE HERO WE ALL LOVE.

Thankyou to those of you who have reviewed and convinced me to continue what I have started!

**Chapter 2: A Time to Stop Pretending**

As I march up to my dojo gates my resolve started to wane slightly at the idea that Kenshin's fragile world would likely shatter at what I had to say. But having lived the highs and lows with him, I realised that either he dealt with the issues that needed to be resolved or, much to my grief, he would have to move on. Our confrontation would make or break my adopted family.

Standing just outside the dojo gates, I took a moment to collect my thoughts. Taking a deep breathe I opened the gates. I knew that Yahiko had gone to spend the day with Tsubame whilst Sano was out escorting, code for pestering or as he would argue 'courting', Megumi. Seeing a collection of nicely rounded stones just to my right an idea formed.

Quietly enterring and closing the gates I noticed that Kenshin was doing laundry as aways. Despite everything else that happened since he had arrived the one thing that could be agreed on was that Kenshin was no freeloader. He more than earned his keep and it seemed to act as a kata to his soul. He didn't reaslise that whilst working through the mundane routines of life, his eyes changed colour hinting at the inner turmoil he fought with every day that passed. Too bad!

Rolling the smoothly curved stone around in the palm of my hand, I reconciled myself that there was no return from this point onwards. Enclosing my hand around the stone and bringing it close I deeply inhaled. On the exhale I threw the stone in Kenshin's direction with as much force as possible. Although his back was to me, his developed senses must have recognised the threat as just before the point of impact came he reached out his hand and caught the stone in his hand. Opening his hand to see the missile that had 'threatened' him a moment ago, he dismissed it and threw it carelessly to the left.

"Hello, Kaoru-dono"

Hearing the dono attached to my name, sparked my temper further from a wavering blue to a blaze of white hot. To top it off he refused to listen to simple requests which were common to any biological family. You just don't call family 'sir' or 'madam'! Or miss or mr for that matter.

"Thats enough, Kenshin!"

Although that was the overall jist of what I had planned on saying, I realised that there was more to my arguement. Something must have hinted to Kenshin that I was no playing around, as he turned to face me.

"Itai?"

"You heard me, thats enough," I started as I walked closer to him, "I'm tired of watching you perform normality to those of us who consider you family, those who have seen the true Kenshin."

He knew what I was talking about as he dropped his chin bringing his bangs forward to conceal his eyes. By this time I stood a few paces away from him. Now that I had started there was no way it could continue to be ignored.

" Perform normality? Your referring to a facade I assume." Turning his head away, " sheesha does not know what you mean, that I don't"

I've hit the nerve I was looking for. Although he usually maintained a convincing persona, his sentence structure now hinted that I was not only talking to the rurouni but also the Battousi. Now was the time...

"Shinta, look at me," I whispered to him. He didn't change his stance, maintaining his hooded appearance.

Sighing, I realised that I would have to continue without eye-contact

" I am tired of the sherade. During the time you have stayed here I have patiently waited for you to come to terms with your past. For the past 11 years you have travelled, fought and struggled with what happened wi-"

"What do you know of my struggle!?! Of my past?! You live within the safe walls of your dojo and practice a martial art that would more likely get you killed than save lives. You know nothing of the conflicts and penance I face!"

"Don't I!? I have seen the trauma and scars you have had to face! I have seen the way people fear and hide from the notorious Manslayer! How others seek you out to prove themselves.But despite the tunnel vision enforced by your penance, you have ignored the trials that those who hold you dearly have had to pay!...I'm not saying that your vow should be disregarded. I'm telling you that you have dedicated eleven years with it in the forefront of your mind. I know you don't want to live away from your vow and I'm not asking you to. What I am asking you is to live!"

He was trembling and I needed to breathe. A silence followed

" Your violent past does not that you can stop living. You have a future and family here waiting for you to realise they are there and to accept them. The gods have granted you a family. Don't insult them by ignoring it and throwing them back it their face"

I couldn't say anymore. With that last outburst the fight had whooshed out of me. Turning away from Kenshin to leave him to his thoughts, I moved to leave the dojo once more. After all I had said what needed to be said. Feeling numb and weak from fighting for him I made my way to the garden where Kenshin had said goodbye to me that time.

I didn't realise where my legs had taken me until I had arrived. That was it. There was no more fight left in me. I had said my piece and now I felt empty like I did that night. The sadness and misery would no longer be my companions.

_I've lost him...again_

With this thought I crumbled to the floor and released the pent up river of tears that I had held inside myself all this time.

He'll be gone when I return but so long as I stay here I can imagine how that night could have ended. That night with the Fireflies.

Thankyou to those of you who have read this. I realised that this chapter came seem harsh but I'm not done yet. There will be a chapter 3! Consider it my christmas gift to all those who have read thise version of the Kenshin story...so far that is.

Please review! Especially if you have any ideas as to where this can go. I have my own ideas but let me know what you think, I may find a way to include it.


	3. Chapter 3b

**Copyright:** I do not own the Kenshin stories, anime or manga. I only write fanfic for it

Hope you all enjoy!

**Chapter 3: Realizations**

-She knows us well that one...we cannot be surprised.

-Can't we? ... What could have pushed our jasmine sparrow to erupt like that?

-You still continue to side step the issue, wandering one.

-This one does not know what you mean.

-You cannot hide from me. I am you, remember Baka.

Silence

-She can't have been right. My penance over your actions is all important. Sheesha merely wishes to serve and be absolved by the gods.

-So why have you stayed so long? What do you call those around your? The woman doctor? Her lover? The leader of the Oniwabanshu? The little ninja? Or more importantly why haven't you moved on?

-I owe them also

-You owe them nothing because they accept you as one of their own! A family does not expect recompense for gestures done in love and kinship. You truly are a Baka if you cannot see that. Our little Sparrow was right.

-Why did we not see it?

-Simple...you did not want to see it. You have ignored me for too long.

-But sheesa has hurt them in the process. Now that this Baka thinks on it, there have been countless times that Sano, Yahiko...Kaoru...all of them have risked much for us.

- It would seem that our family has suffered alongside our penance. Because of it and through it. It truly is forgiveness that the gods have granted us. But because we have not realised this sooner we have hurt them in the process.

- This must be what caused Kaoru to erupt on us.

- And with just reason. We have lived in a facade for too long that it has become a defense against that which we wish to never see.

-How blind can we be?

Pause

-No more!

-No more!

Together they whispered, No more.

What do you think? You like or no?

Note to all: Reviews A liking for what your author gives you Quicker updates and gold

Bye for now.


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